ohh yesterday

I have had a migraine for a whole month and it is brutal. I contacted my neurologist office to see if there was anything I could do besides sit in an ER for way too many hours and I never heard back even after 3 emails and 4 phone calls. My current headache medication  is just not cutting it for some reason, it helps make it more tolerable but after 4ish hours it is back in full force.


I couldn't take it and went to an urgent care who was so understanding and helpful it was amazing. She said that my doctor should give me something stronger because this was bad and could have been stopped at home. My pain levels were so high that my pupils were completely blown and did not react to light, I got a fever because my messed up body does not know what it's doing and it's pain response is fevers, and my blood pressure was actually high from pain.


They ended up giving me IV morphine and two injections of Benadryl and reglan. It helped a lot and made me feel like I could  get on top of the pain. Well, no. It's back. I crankily contacted the office manager for my doctor who doesn't answer me and they want me to come in today and do a group discussion to resolve issues. Please pray this goes well and something can be worked out.

breaking point. We all have them.

I need your prayers for peace, patience, and comfort big time right  now. I'm just broken. Here is the saga.


Apparently once you hit the 2 year disability point you are forced into Medicare part A but part B is optional. When I "got" medicare there was literally just an insurance card in the envelope, no explanation of things, just the card and the option to join part B which you have to pay for or decline. Because I am under my dad's insurance it seemed silly to pay for it so I declined. Nobody told me what happens when you decline part B.


It's bad. really bad. Due to the small size of my dad's job they require Medicare to be primary instead of my dad's employment one which. I also knew nothing about that until the bills rolled in. I should have looked into it but I didn't. Here is the situation:


I have been getting bills from various things and I was so confused because the deductible on my dad's insurance had been met so we shouldn't owe anything. I thought. I have spent weeks calling around and trying to figure out what the deal was. Today I learned this:


You have Medicare part A and Anthem. Medicare part A is for hospital benefits only. By not having Medicare part B, Anthem is processing your claims and paying as secondary, we are taking contractual adjustments, the balance that you are being billed is what Medicare part B would have paid. Since you do not have Medicare part B, that balance is your responsibility.


Now why was I not informed of the consequences of not taking B?! My dad made a phone call for me and Anthem says we should have gotten an explanation letter, I did not and they can't even find it in their system. I spoke with the social security department and they said there is not a letter, they don't "do that" mmmhmmm


So where does that leave me? hibernating. forever.  the thing is I have just one way to try to enroll in part B but it is a longshot. Social security is making me fill out papers and do some stuff to attempt getting a special disability enrollment period where I would have part B in July if it works, if it is declined then I have to wait for the next enrollment period in January. JANUARY.


As of this moment without part B all doctor visits and anything other than being hospitalized falls on us to cover whatever amount remains after anthem did what they would do which isn't much. I already have a pile of bills that will be on us and I have a few doctor appointments coming up that will make that pile larger. If I can get part B in July it would help a lot as far as going forward but what damage has already been done is there. On us.


I now will be spending next week calling billing departments to see if I can get anything written off because of my fixed income and the reality of paying everything isn't possible for me so I need to see if they have payment plans and just whatever to help. I can't even handle the thought of having these pile up until January if they don't give me the special enrollment period. Right now I can barely handle the thought of any of it. I don't know  what is going to happen but this is where I need the prayers right now to go to. I feel so overwhelmed and broken. I know God has a plan for all of this and that is the only thing keeping me together. Jesus. Where my help comes from. Where faith enters the picture. Where miracles happen.

"I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You're able
I know You can--mercy me