post treatment update

I know people want to know how I am doing since the ketamine infusions and I have hesitated to say anything because I just haven’t had words.

During the 2 weeks of treatment God moved mountains and did so many miracles.  I had perfect blood pressures and scattered full days pain free. He made his presence well known along the way providing me rides, finances and a doctor who cares more than any other doctor I have ever seen in my  life. This doctor went as far as giving me a free treatment and uttering the words “this only puts me out like $500 and I want to see you get better” He was so patient and understanding when the panic side affects of the medication hit once I told him I needed help. I went through a couple treatments where I considered giving up because of the 2 hour long panic attacks that I did my best to hide. He was puzzled as to why I didn’t say anything but when I said it was because I didn’t want him to give up on me because That’s what happens when I have an issue with anything out of the “normal” …I have been given up on a lot.

He sat down in the room with me and promised he will not give up on me. Ever. And stayed with me for 2 hours and talked. This is when he learned that I have a weird tolerance issue to medications, even Strong anxiety medications did absolutely nothing.. We were tripling the ketamine doses left and right because I instantly would become tolerant to the dose we were using so we had to up it each time. If the dose was too low I would panic. While sitting with me he looked over and told me with the high dose I should be practically sleeping not watching Netflix and talking with him about it, he was surprised but except for that it didn’t seem to phase him. He didn’t call me a liar, a drug seeker or tell me he can’t and won’t try to keep treating me. That’s an epic miracle right there.

Suddenly, on the second to last treatment my nervous system crashed again leaving me severely dehydrated. He explained that there is a chance that I won’t be able to come off of the IV fluids because a urine sample revealed to him that it is not even possible for me to “just drink more” and have it be effective because I would have to drink a ton of salt water, regular water won’t cut it. My symptoms are slowly  returning. High heart rate and majorly low blood pressure started up but my headaches have and still are better which was the whole original point of the treatment. It wasn’t meant to fix my nervous system, God just graciously gave me a much-needed break.

 I would call the treatment a success but there is no data on what is likely to happen now that I am done. Nobody knows why it came back which I won’t lie, It was discouraging after 2 good weeks. I have a range of emotions going on right now but I am doing my best to let God lead and don’t let discouragement take over for The miracles that just happened. God works in mysterious ways that I can’t comprehend! The plan now is that the doctor will be going to a convention next week on ketamine and is presenting my case, he will then talk to my neurologist and come up with some sort of a plan and call me in a few weeks.

“All we have to do is follow Him, our feet stepping where His feet have already made a path. The hard work has been done. We don’t have to blaze a trail; we just have to put our feet exactly where our father leads us.”—Laura Story