HOPE: One day at a time

Hope appears on the horizon each morning in the form of a brand new day---C. S. Lewis



I never would have imagined that my life would be what it is right now. For whatever reason I always thought that since I overcame my nerve pain illness thing that it would be the last of my physical trials and I could continue on in life and have a family, be able to hold down the job I loved, and never have to go back there again. Obviously I was way off and have not managed any of those things. I don't know what God is doing with my life but I know He holds it in His hand and that I am here for a reason. My seizure on Sunday night that came out of nowhere was another wake up call to me showing that I am not in control but God is and He is allowing me to go through all of this for a reason but He is proving to me that He never leaves or forsakes. He has now brought me through 2 seizures that have not caused any permanent damage and that alone is a miracle. Yes, I have other issues and have had a lot of close calls but obviously God is not done with me on this earth and everyday He is right there giving me hope and peace when I feel like I can't keep going and life is too hard.

That does not mean that it is not a struggle. My current struggle is missing and almost forgetting what it is like to feel healthy, To get out of bed without having a date with the floor. The constant fear of having another ball drop such as another seizure, pass out moment, memory loss exc. is always present. If I look back on my whole life I truly stand amazed that I am alive today despite a handful of close calls.

It makes me ponder what God's plan for my life is sense there is no cure for POTS or autonomic dysfunction at this time. I truly don't know what that plan is or what the next day in my life will look like. Will I pass out, have a seizure, be relatively ok?! Everyday is unknown but with each new day I try to count my blessings and be so thankful that I am still here on earth and hope can be found in my savior who loves me more than I can even imagine. So despite feeling a little sad and missing my life I am reminded that each morning is filled with hope from Christ himself and that hope will get me through the good times and the bad.