23

When I think back, I remember dreaming and wondering what my life will be like at 23. I imagined that I would at least be married with kids and just being an adult. Well, as you can see none of that has happened and I am beginning to question if it will ever occur because of this disease with no cure. What man is going to want to take this on?!

I don't know I just have no direction in life right now. IF I EVER go into remission I want to fulfill my dream of being a paramedic. At the moment though everyday is the same fight, the same battle, the same symptoms. This gets depressing I am not going to lie. I want to live life, go boating, be around people, go see extended family, go on vacations exc. and just enjoy this amazing world that God created but I feel so trapped in this body that cannot do anything right and it is destroying my life. Now before I get a butt load of "butt jesus's" yes, He holds my future and my life and I trust Him but we have to do our part.