faith

I am fairly sure my dad has told me "you gotta keep trusting" like 5 times a day for a week. My hysterical breakdowns are frequent these days. So is me saying I don't understand what God is doing, like what in the world is your plan here cause I am not so sure I like this one. I cannot even explain what I am going through right now, it's like walking in a pitch black tunnel just waiting for the light. This tunnel walk involves no light right now and it is so heartbreaking.

BUT


They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

My faith is lacking but I'm clinging to it because it is my only hope, my only chance at seeing that light, my only source of strength. My everything. With this knowledge I do not give up but let me tell you it is so hard not to loose that faith! Really really hard.