give up

Sometimes I have a really hard time not giving up as all the balls are dropping around me. I feel defeated and I just don't want to deal with this anymore. A syndrome with no cure and a billion complications has me feeling like it's all too much, wasn't what I went through in the past enough? I'm clinging to the fact that we never suffer in vain and my brain knowledge of my savior's love. Regardless, it will be all be gone one day whether in this life or not. That is such a sweet thought. I think when you face so many trials on this earth, heaven gets a whole new meaning. The incurable will be gone, dysautonomia and all of it's complications will be GONE. It's hard to imagine that I could have this forever but I know that there is a reason. A song just came on and these lyrics remind me that I can't give up "That's the only way to go, fighting the good fight until the good Lord brings you home."
Home. Man, am I ready for home but I have to fight until the Lord calls me home, giving up isn't an option, He isn't done with me yet even though I am crumbled into a thousand pieces, He will use every one of them.