fight

Man, fighting my own nervous system is not an easy task. I have to change what my daily life looks like because I have no cure and I simply cannot live like I have been for the rest of my life. Not an option. I had given up without realizing it but God has a way of making us face our reality. It was just like a sudden epiphany that THIS is my life, without a miracle it is not going to all of a sudden change so I have to learn a new way to live WITH POTS and not just be POTS. I have to fight my fatigue and dizziness and get out of bed and live, not just exist. God is enabling me to do this but it is so hard. Basically what I have to do is do as much as I can outside of my bed every day while fighting against the crash in order to re-condition my body. It is a very very very slow process but it works. Of course, I have to be smart about it. I have to try to learn when I should not do anything to avoid anything bad happening like passing out. I still have my days I do nothing but I am slowly incorporating reality into my existence. It is so hard to feel horrible during the crash but getting up and fighting against it anyway. Please pray for me in this. I now I can do it and I have set my mind to it and I know God is leading me but it is still not going to be easy.

With each crash my body tries to re-condition itself and over time that works it is just slow and exhausting and taking EVERYTHING out of me. Conditioning is my new way of life instead of laying in my bed and I have a lot of hope and I feel like I actually can have a future as long as I keep fighting. Pray for me to be able to listen to my body and know when to push myself and when to give it a break. That might be one of the hardest parts because the whole point is pushing my bodies limits but I also have to be super careful because I can also make it worse if I try to re-condition too fast and hard and that is not what I am aiming for. I will do this. I need everyone's thoughts and prayers though to get through this. I have been going out places and as much as my body will let me and just trying to do more daily activities. Thanks for your support, this will be a long journey but I made it through my past by the grace of God and this will be no different.