Been awhile...I am still alive as far as I know.

Nothing of note has really occurred recently. The only thing is I am going to an allergist for break outs around my port that is making my skin deteriorate. I have a skin patch test on my back now and she already researched 30 types of tegaderm and came up with a list that she will pass onto BJC homecare to see if they can be approved to be used with ports. We will try those and if that doesn't work she will write a special script saying that the sterile tegaderm needs to be changed every day and that the pt has the medical background and knowledge to change on her own daily. BJC probably would refuse to pay for a nurse to come every day but since I know sterile technique and could do it on my own that is actually an option I have that most don't.


I will say that sometimes it takes some hard words to get a reality check. It took me so long from the time of the seizure just to get to having the port and feeling so sick that I was exhausted and in a way gave up on moving forward with the physical therapy because it was overwhelming and I was so exhausted and tired of everything that just thinking about that step was too much let alone doing it. Thanks to the reality check from the  roomie that I needed to hear. I have realized that I may not want to go forward because it is not going to make me feel well but I have to in order to get better and if I sit around here I will stay how I feel. To get better I HAVE to take that next step. there is no other option. God will get me through this just like everything else but I have to step out in faith and do it. Sometimes we all just need a kick in the pants.



Lastly, I do have to say I am definitely better than I was a month ago.At least every other week I seem to notice a teeny tiny change in what I can do and how long I can do it. That is a huge blessing from God and does boost my spirits and something to be thankful for. It is always so hard because there is ok I am this bit better and then there is where I want to be. Makes it hard to really notice the changes and I had to rely on my dad to point them out to me because for me it comes down to I still don't feel good so other people looking in put me in my place sometimes and it is for the best. God is still working through this with me and he will not stop.