bittersweet

I got a good report from my heart doctor for the first time since I got sick. My heart is currently in stable condition. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever improve and God did one of His famous "trust me" moments that I am so thankful for.

While I am beyond thankful for my heart being stable; I also find it a little bittersweet because that means that all of my current debilitating symptoms are from my failing nervous system. The issue with my heart could be improved with hard work but my autonomic nervous system has no treatment besides hydration therapy which obviously isn't enough. I am going to see a neurologist who specializes in this disorder on the 30th and I shall see if he has any suggestions but in general you can't fix your automatic nerves system to do things when and how it should. Rebel.

So, all of the facial burning, muscle spasms, body shocks, cold sweats, nausea, low blood pressure, exc. Is not going to improve very easily, if at all unless a miracle occurs. God does do miracles still so I am praying for that but trying to face the reality of it not being treatable. I'm hopeful that there is something out there that treats it and I am just not aware of it. For now, I am laying here trying to be thankful instead of upset about what isn't improving and focus on what God did for me today. It is a big deal to finally get to this point after so many months. God is good. All the time.