fight

I'm just going to be real here, I am tired of this fight. Every day brings this battle to the surface as soon as I wake up and my symptoms start to hit me. Every single day. for over a year. I am so tired of all of it. It has been over a year and I'm still an invalidish. I am working on trusting God with my future; I had made plans and goals for myself but obviously they didn't match up with God's and slowly I am realizing that I will not be able to accomplish them. God is saying no at this point. I have no idea where my life is going and I know God has it and I just need to wait and see but the thought of being an invalid for the rest of my life is beyond what I can comprehend. I am thankful for my savior for taking over when I can't. Today has been one of those days where my current situation hits me hard. I don't want to loose years of my life to being sick again, I don't want any of this. I know that it is not about what I want but what God wants to do in my life and the lives of people around me but it is still a large pill to swallow and I am weak.


I KNOW everything is going to work out according to God's plans so that is where I am pulling my hope and faith from. God was faithful, is faithful, and will always be faithful no matter what my life looks like but pray for peace and trust while I wait on the Lord to guide me in this journey of life because I feel empty and worn down and my faith is slowly being hit hard and I am determined not to loose it and run away from God since I have done that before and it doesn't end very well but I am struggling right now so prayers are appreciated as well as verses and/or words of wisdom.

p.s yes it is a massive run on sentence. Deal with it.