acceptance

I realized today just how much I compare my current life to the old one. My "old" life is gone and it won't come back. This has changed me forever, even if my symptoms improve and I can function again it will never be the same as it was. It was a fun Epiphany. I realized that this is my CURRENT life so there is no point in making myself miserable by remembering and thinking about the things that I used to do and I can't anymore. Yes, I know I am allowed and should grieve with each blow this p.o.t.s gives me but I think I have passed that allowance and now need to pick myself up and accept and embrace my new life and leave "before I could do this" in the past. It's done, its over and it sucks but I like to think God is doing something big through this trial number 5,000. He was and is and always will be faithful but please pray for me because not comparing and accepting a new life that I never asked for or wanted is so hard but here I am.