These last 2 weeks have taken everything out of me. My body is wearing down more and more everyday leaving me so weak and with an exhaustion that can't be explained. My life feels like it is falling apart one thing at a time especially now that I have these neurological symptoms that come from an unknown something, leaving me frustrated as I try to speak. Why on top of everything else does my cognitive ability have to fade?! I am tired, I want it to end; I want to work, walk in a store, go to the gym, and just participate in life. Despite this I will pull it together with Gods help and move forward.
My sense of hope and peace is that God is in control of this situation and He will give me exactly what I need whether physically or emotionally to push through another day. This will not be forever. If there is one thing I know, it's that God does not leave or forsake, He walks side by side with us in good times and bad. I may be fragile and broken right now but that could be where God wants me to be. There is a purpose for everything.
'There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always" --Jeremy camp
"And I'm falling apart As I carry my heart to Your throne
I am completely surrendering Finally giving You everything
You're my redeemer, I run to the cross
Because You are more than enough
Lord complete me
Cause I'm Yours completely" --among the thirsty
"Every time that you wake up breathing
Every night when you close your eyes
Everyday that your heart keeps beating
There's purpose for your life
So don't give up
Don't lay down
Just hold on
Don't quit now
Every breath that you take has meaning
You are here for a reason"-ashes remain
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