vulnerable men rainfall

I had dreams. I had a plan laid out for my life. I had a general idea of how everyday would go. I had a job where I could tangibly be able to help people. I had a rental house and a roommate. I was loving living on my own more than anything. I could get out of bed and feel refreshed. I was working out at a gym for the first time in my life and I loved it. The list really could go on forever.


As you can see I had my path of life planned. In a minute it was torn away. I know God gives and He takes away all for my good but honestly I don't see or feel the good in my life right now. I am tired of this syndrome and worn out by life. As you may have noticed the letter "I" so many times. I have to remind myself that my plans are worth nothing because this life is not mine. It is Gods therefore everything that happens in this life He is a part of.


He knows my biggest dreams. I will be vulnerable for a moment; all I have ever wanted and dreamed of is to be a mom. I want this more than anything. I feel like this syndrome is taking that dream away from me. I struggle with the fact that my odds of finding a man that will take all of this on will take a miracle. I struggle with the thoughts of "how could I ever even meet a man while laying in bed and not leaving my house." I swear God would just have to plop the guy he chooses in my room in order for this to happen. Miracles happen right? uhh on second thought men plopping in my room is a horrible idea, creepy as can be. Lets just scratch that method and go with a miracle done in whatever way God chooses to do it. (but please God don't send guys falling like rain to my room. please and thanks)


Let's just say, I can almost feel my biggest dream fading away. Nobody wants all of this nonsense anyway. Maybe, that is not in God's will for my life, the thought crushes me a little bit but not everybody is guaranteed a spouse and a family. So there you have it my vulnerability. Major One that I rarely share. Please pray for peace and contentment  in wherever this life leads. I am struggle with my life in general and could use more prayers than ever before.

"We Believe"

In this time of desperation
When all we know is doubt and fear
There is only ONE foundation
We believe, we believe
In this broken generation
When all is dark, You help us see
There is only one salvation
We believe, we believe

We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life
We believe in the crucifixion
We believe that He conquered death
We believe in the resurrection
And He's comin' back again, we believe

So, let our faith be more than anthems
Greater than the songs we sing
And in our weakness and temptations
We believe, we believe!

We believe in God the Father!
We believe in Jesus Christ!
We believe in the Holy Spirit!
And He's given us new life!
We believe in the crucifixion!
We believe that He conquered death!
We believe in the resurrection!
And He's comin' back again!

Let the lost be found and the dead be raised!
In the here and now, let love invade!
Let the church live loud our God we'll say
We believe, we believe!
And the gates of hell will not prevail!
For the power of God, has torn the veil!
Now we know Your love will never fail!
We believe, we believe!

We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life!
We believe in the crucifixion!
We believe that He conquered death!
We believe in the resurrection!
And He's comin' back,
He's comin' back again!
He's comin' back again!
We believe!
We believe