Field Trips and realities

sometimes I forget that I'm sick. My dad took me on a field trip on Saturday (Some people are crazy and willing to take me in public even with my declining social skills.) we went to pere Marquette and stopped at a lookout, we get out of the car and went to walk and then my dad and I just look at each other and he was like oh you can't do the stairs can you? nope. So he went and took a few pics and then we spent the rest of the time driving through the park to look at the beautiful leaves. It was amazing to be out in God's creation vs. my bed! Yes, it makes me crash later but sometimes you have to choose to get out and do things even though a crash will follow. It is good for the soul.

I still just can't wrap my head around the fact that my life has changed this much and just walking up stairs leaves me ready to collapse. It was such a sudden change that I don't think I really absorbed it. Now I get frequent disappointing reality checks such as the one above. Prior to my seizure I did not even know that conditions of the nervous system exist in the first place and the toll they take on every part of your body; Everything is affected. It is a brutal and unpredictable disorder that there is no cure for. Treatments? yes but no cure. God is all powerful, I will never say there is no hope for POTS and an unknown diagnosis because there is always hope in Him. Without Him I don't know how people get through this. The peace and comfort that Jesus gives keeps me going. If I didn't have that my life would seem pointless and my sufferings would be for nothing.


Job 11:18
You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Job 36:15
But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction.

Jeremiah 15:15
Lord, you understand; remember me and care for me. Avenge me on my persecutors. You are long-suffering—do not take me away; think of how I suffer reproach for your sake

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety

Psalm 62:5
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Without all these promises and the best kind of support from Jesus. I would be very lost and hopeless. Hopeless is such a strong emotion to feel and it slowly eats at your heart and changes the person you were meant to be. In God there is an infinite amount of hope. More than you would ever imagine you just have to seek it.