but God

Sometimes this journey that I am on overwhelms me. Always waiting for the next ball to drop. I really don't know where to go from here and thinking about my future is just depressing. I seem to attract illnesses, like my whole life, I cannot do just one disease I have to do 2 or 3, I just wait for them to come because it's just what I do. Pioneer really weird diseases. Somehow God is using this for something that I am not aware of. He has too. We don't suffer needlessly.

The last couple of weeks have been really hard and because of that I have been dealing with flare ups of my anxiety and depression and I get whiny. A lot of but God's have been going on... but God I don't want this anymore has been my favorite one since finding out that I could have lupus to add to my disease inventory. I seem to have dwelt in but God land for awhile now but I was thinking today about that and I decided I need someone to follow me around and say but God every few minutes because there are good forms of but God and I have been looking at the wrong one.

...but God. I look back at my life and I have had my fair share of close calls but with each one God has brought me through and out so why would He stop now? "but God brought you through the last thing where we thought the suffering would never end and He made it happen" He is God and He is all powerful and I know He heals because I have seen it time and time again. I am not alone, despite what it feels like sometimes. I will leave off with but God is sovereign and love and hope and peace and comfort and trustworthy and an overcomer.