I have "normal" really long term goals of having a family and all that but as I was pondering I came up with the thing I miss the MOST and I want to be able to do RIGHT NOW more than anything: go out on the river in the boat with a trolling motor, with music players in plastic bags and just enjoy the scenery on the water. It is my favorite place to be (as long as I have sunscreen ahem bad story. Wear sunscreen people. 3rd degree burns are icky) I was explaining this HUGE goal to my dad I think it hit him too judging by the look on his face, I think we both realized in that moment how much my life has changed and how much I will have to fight to get anywhere close to where I used to be.
I currently feel defeated and so not ready to fight this hard and it will probably involve more and new doctors, specialists, tests and procedures, I can't stay stagnant like I am right now, it is time for the fight of my life to really begin and I am not ready but God will carry me and guide me in whatever I need to do.
Please pray for me that God will show me where to even begin because I am just overwhelmed and clueless.
Also, I have an appointment with a GI doctor on the 13th to discuss my weight loss, nausea, and lack of appetite that is making me weaker by the day so pray God will give him direction on what to do to get me nutrients and energy because I have to start with that.
I saw a dietician shortly after my weight loss stuff happened and she recommended a feeding tube which would be tons of fun as I am sure you can imagine and they never ended up doing it but it will be discussed on the 13th so big prayers for that decision.
If that is decided upon pray for wisdom on what kind to go with, I would have 3 choices with my least favorite being a torture device with a tube that goes down your nose to your stomach where they then give you baby formula. It's
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