Today is just not a day I want to face my everyday life. This illness is really taking it's toll both mentally and physically. I am really just emotional today because I want this over with, I don't want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped with no end in sight. Do I really have to live my entire life like this?! I just want my old life. The life where I could shop for hours and drive and work and go to the gym. I am just missing it so much. It amazes me how one syndrome and one day can change your life forever. I can't even go to walgreens without passing out these days and I am just worn out.
I know God can heal, He has done it with me so many times but I just don't know how to cope with my life right now. What if He allows me to have this forever? What will I do? I already feel like I can't take it anymore. I know God will help me through this but I just feel so defeated and broken right now. Life is hard.
please note: before everyone freaks out I am not depressed, just having one of those days where I throw myself a pity party. It happens.
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