sinking in and my thoughts on this situation.

The POSSIBILITY that I could have an additional illness is starting to sink in today. My blood work showed triple the inflammation markers in my body. It can be from so many things so now the task of finding a cause begins. I hate this process because I am afraid of the unknown, if they come to me and say it is this diagnosis I can handle but I fear another 'we don't know"

I just can't do the "we don't know" or the "let's blame it on some random thing because we don't know and all will be peachy" I have heard that a lot lately and each one is like a slap in the face. My current situation is tricky because my blood work showed really conflicting reports (my expertise)

My levels of everything are a little off including my liver and kidney function numbers. I don't know what that is all about but my body is crazy.

Please pray for my emotional status. I just want to live, not just exist and these test results being so unclear makes me confused because it shows positive and negative results for everything. Of course. I am anxious to get into the rheumatologist and hear his interpretation of everything so please pray that it will be soon, I am waiting for them to call me back. Also pray for my joint pain and my knees giving out on me because NO FALLS is what I was told.

Being 23 and going through this is worse than when I was younger. You realize more of your life drifting away and all of the things you thought would happen just crumble such as dating, schooling and working. I always thought I would be getting married by now but I can guarantee I am a hot mess minus the hot part haha so that isn't happening and my dreams of being a nurse are gone. I am left to figure out new goals! I don't know what that looks like but I will figure it out.

I know GOD is fulfilling HIS plan for my life despite me getting in the way. One day I will be freed from this earth and I cling to that in these moments where life is just well hard. I was up the whole night puking for God only knows what reason but I know He has one so let's do this.