IF HE DOESN'T COME THROUGH

The last 2 weeks have been so hard. Emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I am tired of this every single day battle with no end that I CAN see.  I am praying that God does a miracle next Wednesday at the clinic; my heart longs for one more than anything but I know He is not a magic 8 ball and whatever His will it will be done. Trusting His will is one of the hardest things I think believers face. We want what we want. right now. We find our self mad at God because it didn't go like we thought it should. We all do this. I am working on trusting that His will for me is so far beyond what I can comprehend and finding peace in it regardless of how it goes.

Without God there would be no hope in anything let alone a miracle. HE is where hope and peace is found therefore without faith I couldn't believe in miracles and I could not have a fighting chance in this fallen world or even the choice to go to heaven or hell. We would all be condemned . If God does not come through on His words we as an entire world are screwed. This fact brings me to my knees in joy and thankfulness because He will ALWAYS come through. I have no idea what I would do if heaven didn't exist. This world is beyond cruel and if this is all we get, I don't want it. If heaven didn't exist not only would I not have a single thing to look forward too but I would also never get to hear these words that I cling so tightly too every single day:

"My child, who I have washed clean with my own blood your suffering is done. POTS is cured. forever. You will never be sick ever again and you can now enjoy the things I have created perfectly since you couldn't on earth. Your eternity with ME begins now."

Now THAT is something to look forward too because in my current state I don't really have much to be excited about. (beyond the tangible hope for a plausible miracle)