I got a call back (5 years later of course) yesterday from my doctors office and they all had a pow wow and said I only have 2 options left. oh goody. Thankful that there IS STILL options though.
Here is the plan I have been waiting for: there is a POTS clinic at barnes (what the heck. it's been over 2 years and about 15 doctors and I was never told that it exists in the first place or I would have been there by now. You would think. Barnes is going to call and make me an appointment.
I have major mixed emotions about this, I am terrified that they will say " I can't help you" or "at THIS moment Your pulse is only 98 which doesn't really prove POTS. and your blood pressure isn't that bad" because on a rare occasion my vitals will slightly improve.. and then crash. Doctors have this thing where they don't believe it if they can't see it. PLEASE PRAY. This sounds wrong but pray that my symptoms flare up for this appointment because it gives them something to work with and I won't be blown off. I need help.
My biggest fear is relatively speaking that they will say I don't qualify. I feel like my heart can't handle that at this point, it's already shattered. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I am looking to the future which is pointless but it happens. Pray for peace, comfort, and wise doctors who truly believe me and can give me hope outside of Jesus. I am barely clinging on right now. In case you wondered my ONLY OTHER OPTION is to go to mayo clinic or the cleveland clinic. That's it. I am hopeful but I refuse to let that sink in because I know oh so well that I could still get the "I can't help you" and I have to gaurd my fragile heart. #jesushelpmepleasecauseicantdothis
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