pawn and wait

I am stuck playing this game of musical doctors. Again times 5,000. I went and saw my GI doc today and he really doesn't know what is making me so sick. We are doing an abdominal CT scan on Friday and I have to drink contrast at 7am. Yeah have someone who can't keep anything down drink 24oz of contrast an hr before the test and then drink more right before it. Mmmhmmm this is logical. Please pray that I can drink it and keep it down! This stuff tastes a kind of horrible that can't be explained. if this CT scan is normal it is probably related to my nervous system disorder. The nerve that tells your stomach to move food onwards can malfunction and cause all of my current symptoms. He said it is likely to be the nervous system but he wants to rule everything out and he doesn't really know anything about autonomic dysfunction so I would have to seek treatment somewhere else for that Today has sucked anyway, all I want to do is go to sleep and wake up and be healthy again. I'm tired of going to bed not knowing what symptoms I will have when I wake up. I am so tired of being pawned from one doc to another because you don't get help that way, all I want is someone to help. That's all. So pending a normal CT I will be finding a new Dr. That knows about this condition and making an appointment that will probably be months away since it's such a precise area of study. pawn and wait is my life right now and I am not going to deny it sucks big time. Kind of like hurry up and wait while you get sicker and sicker. At some point in all of my health issues I hit a breaking point, well, today my breaking point has been reached and I have had to really reach out to God to do whatever He is going to do because I broke and gave up my fight. I give up. Fortunately God doesn't and today shall pass and a new one will begin and who knows God might have something up his sleeve and will renew my strength, peace and hope. If nothing else He is still right here walking this path of darkness with me and for that I am thankful.