coping mechanisms

While coping mechanisms can be great things and I believe God has allowed us to be capable of having them and maintaining them with the idea being we really focus on Him. God is after all the Best coping "mechanism" (yes, I know He is not a mechanism but words aren't happening right now.) The way I deal with my life is to try not to even think about "what I am missing out on", "what I should be doing at this point in life", "everything that I can no longer do" and that kind of thing. Live in the hour because the next hour everything can change. Well, that's fine and dandy eventually you cross a line. If you don't allow yourself to "go there" then you don't grieve that loss in a slower, normal fashion and EVERYTHING hits like a freight train when you do let yourself go there for even just one minute. That is where I stand right now and grieving all the losses at once is a lot harder than one at a time; somewhere in this journey I became a genius and pushed everything aside to get through day to day struggles and refused to face the realities of my situation and now it's not so fun. My mind has been overwhelmed with how far in the "wrong" direction I have come in about the last year and it is flooded with things like hmm I wonder if I will ever be able to drive car again or go to a store and not feel like puking and passing out and I think I will just have to live with my parents for the rest of my life so that's cool. Seeing beyond these things is very hard because it has been 8 months now since I got sick and these things haven't changed much and at least for now there is no answers as to when or if all or some of these things will occur again and in what time frame. A year? 2 years? I just don't know but I miss them all right now. Getting in my car and driving somewhere has become hard to even fathom anymore considering if I turn my head too quickly I get dizzy. 8 months later and judging by the fact that if both of my parents go somewhere I require a babysitter since I am not supposed to left alone it just doesn't seem like much is going to occur in a timely fashion and I like timely fashions. A lot. Please pray for acceptance, peace, and patience as I trudge along here one day at a time and I have some big doctor's appointments coming up that need prayer as well. This Monday 8-4-14 at 4:00pm I have an appointment with a GI doctor that works closely with a neurologist at St. Claire that specializes in autonomic dysfunction and the prayer is that they will figure out what my puking issue is and fix it and I would you know prefer that to be without getting diagnosed with anymore diseases or disorders which is a possibility. I see the GI Monday and the Neurologist I can't see until September 30th but hopefully and prayerfully these two very precise specialists will be able to give me some answers on what my body is really doing and some treatment options.