surgeries, aftermath, expectations

The surgery to put in my port went well. The aftermath from the moment I woke up was not so pretty and very unexpected because I did not know they hollow a hole in your neck and shove stuff in it. I am not sure if that is what they did but that what it feels like occurred. I was so not expecting the amount of pain that I was in all from my neck not even the port itself but still woah crazy. Crash course in neck immobilization followed with a lot of dumb moments where I forgot and then I remembered and hated my brain.

It is better than IV pokes but it has already clotted once ending in me having a mental breakdown until the roomie calmed me down enough to say lets try flushing up here closest to your heart and then we sat there and slowly heperined it until the clot went away and it worked again but I was in full loosing it mode because nothing goes right not even one little thing. God must be trying to teach me patience and/or perseverance but it's not working. Obviously. He might have to use more of His strength to just guide me a little closer cause I sure am not going to get there on my own. So right now it is pain and more pain and recovery and finding things that sound good to eat and drink cause that's about nothing right now.