valleys of life

Today has been hard, this syndrome takes so much from you and I am longing to live again. I want to drive, go back to the gym, walk around, go out places, stand in the shower, do my own laundry and put it away, clean out my closet, feel like a girl again, and be able to walk up stairs without feeling like death. There is so many things that people take for granted when at any point they could be stripped away. I just feel so lost in a world that keeps on going all around me and I can only sit and watch it happen. I am not content in my circumstances by any means and all I have left is to reach out to Jesus who can carry me up this valley. He is everything I need. In my cranky, life sucks moments I KNOW He is here and carrying me up the valley and the mountain. I don't have to feel Him to KNOW He is with me even when I feel alone and trapped in my malfunctioned body. My body is failing me again but it is such a comfort to know God will never fail. I am trying to focus on what I know and not what I feel in this moment and drag out the truth in every circumstance I am left with.