Thursday, January 1, 2015

exercise confusion prayer request

To help re-condition my body to do what it is supposed to I have to do a painfully slow exercise regimen, for months I have been putting bike pedals on the floor and laying on my bed with my feet hanging off and pedaling as well as weight lifting from bed. I had made it all the way to 45 minutes on the bike prior to this stupid blood clot. Despite the fact that I am laying down while exercising it still gives me really bad dizzy spells. I now have a problem because of the blood thinners I am on my hematologist said to stay away from everything that could trigger me to pass out because I could bleed out if I fall.

I will probably have to be on the blood thinners for 6 months-1 year and I know my heart doctor is going to be upset with me for not exercising despite the blood thinners cause that is just how she is; to quote her " you will not get better laying down all the time!"

now don't get me wrong, I love this doctor and she is literally the best in the state at treating POTS and dysautonomia but she will flip if I can't even do bike pedals for a year, I don't know what she wants me to do if I can't even do that but I feel like I am being obstinate and refusing to get better from her perspective.

So confusing, I would love nothing more than to do my bike pedals and go back to the gym (I miss the gym a lot)but it just can't be done right now and for that I feel like I am failing. She doesn't know I am not exercising but when she finds out it will be a guilt trip out of love and the desire for me to get better. She can come across harsh but she is really just trying to help, I just don't handle it well and turn on myself thinking I am failing. There is just as much mental issues as physical that come a long with this disease and it makes the whole thing so much harder.

Please pray for me that I will not be so hard on myself and the doctor will be understanding and work with me on what I can do to fit in some form of exercise that won't be dangerous.

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