That point

When dealing with any kind of chronic illness there is always a crucial point where your enthusiasm to fight leaves you and you are just kind of left with this empty shell and you have to decide what to put in it. Some people give up, others work really hard to regain their enthusiasm and some people try to accept the circumstance and put one foot in front of the other. I have now reached the empty shell point. I'm tired of fighting so hard to get shoved to another Dr who can't help me. I'm tired of everything and my will to really take this head on is gone but giving up is not an option so I am choosing to fill my shell with a lot of Jesus and just go through the motions and do what I have to do to get better. Nobody said I have to be thrilled about the process just that I have to do it. Last night I decided to accept my circumstance and trudge ahead after being up every 2 hrs with nausea and muscle spasms from my faulty nervous system. It might have to go one hour at a time but I will get stronger even if it is done by going through the motions and Jesus pushing me the whole time. I knew this point would come because it always does and here at almost 7 months in it hit. Thankfully the God we serve is all powerful and loving enough to suffer with us.