the long waited story

I haven't been on the computer much lately because sadly it takes energy that I don't have. So backtracking we go: every night 2 weeks ago I got low grade fevers that would increase each night. Good times. I attribute everything to my nervous system these days so I figured it was causing it until Sunday night when it hit 102 and I felt more off than normal.
while keeping my pulse ox on while I went to the restroom I was on my way back to bed when the room was spinning I looked down long enough to see my oxygen at 85% and my pulse at 140 before I was out hitting my head on the hardwood floors. I came back to really quickly and knew I didn't have a concussion so I emailed my pulmonologist and he sent me to the ER. They found pneumonia and my Bp was in the 85/64 ranges and my oxygen was dropping so they decided to admit me to a step down unit from ICU. Once there my O2 was still causing issues as well as my heart rate so I was on every monitoring device possible and it was extremely dehydrated as well as a dangerously low potassium and magnesium. I was IV pumped full of 3 different antibiotics, magnesium and potassium as well as a ton of fluid boluses to help control my heart and Bp. I passed out a lot during Pt so that is always fun my vitals would drop out of the blue and with the gait belt they would hold me up until the wheelchair was behind me. They also are trying to get me to eat but it's so hard when the thought of food makes me want to puke, my cardiologist did not want the feeding tube but I have lost another two pounds so idk what the plan is for that. Currently I am at my parents house for safety reasons and really not feeling well from the pneumonia, antibiotics that make me feel sick and my tachycardia in full swing so that's a prayer request. Thanks to all of those who are praying for me, it's a long battle ahead and at times I want to give up but God isn't allowing it so pray for strength because I am beyond done. October until now is draining me mentally more than physically and not knowing what is ahead is scary because I don't want to be in this physical state anymore as it is and I have a long way to go and I'm sooooo tired and scared of the unknown even though I know God has it I struggle to trust him on a deep level vs. Going off of the knowledge of Him to get me through. Not saying knowledge is a bad thing but I want a deeper trust so I don't have to be scared of what's to come but for now I am and God takes me where I'm at so God, I'm done.